with this ring

Last night we purchased these very special items. We were in the jewellery store, the same place where Brian bought my engagement ring. Standing by the glass counter, shiny cases, sparkly diamonds, smiling saleslady and the older man who told us with a grin on his face and nostalgia in his eyes, "I've been married 30 years now. August is a good month."

And these, the classically simple elegant gold bands to symbolize our love and commitment to each other.

"I give you this ring as a symbol of our covenant in Christ"

And seeing my groom-to-be there trying that gold band on his left finger for size, and knowing that this is it. He is going to be my husband in 77 days. It made my heart go pitter patter a little bit, it really did.

This is the start of our journey, coming so soon. We'll exchange our vows and our rings and we'll go live and love and serve.

I am so thankful... and sometimes I feel like my heart is going to burst with it all.

May days

Spring is slowly creeping across the landscape of St John's.. the trees are tentatively popping out a few buds, the grass is green and mossy due to the large amounts of precipitation here... and today, behold, the sun appears to be out! I might bike somewhere to take advantage of that.

Brian and I have found an apartment, he is currently residing there and I am excited to join him after the wedding. Main floor of half of a big blue heritage house.- its gotwooden floors, big windows- a very old house and its rustic but I love it. It's nice to have that out of the way as house hunting is not, in my opinion, one of the joys of life.

I've been working a ton but looking forward to taking the entire weekend off to enjoy the company of friends and hopefully get outside. It's been a while since I've done a good hike. We were going to go last Sunday but alas, the rain foiled us so we spent it inside playing crib, cleaning the apartment, and eating pancakes. Not a bad trade, really.

Time to make a coffee and sit and read. Oh days off... I need this day. Out of the last 6 days, I've spent some portion of 5 of them at work and I've had enough and need a break. Sometimes that ER can just suck the life out of you if you let it and yesterday when I left I felt like I was just done.... looking forward to the next few days. Mmmm relaxation.... and pondering the events of this summer which are so quickly approaching!

press and seal

Annie, Alex and Brian- the last feast-gathering at the yellow house! On the porch, Easter Sunday dinner

I feel like I have a lot to do. Planning a wedding is a large project with an even larger amount of small but necessary details.

But I am not stressed out. Rather enjoying the process actually. Next up... receiving our invitations in the mail from the printer and addressing and stamping and sending! I actually really like addressing envelopes... when I hand write someone a letter (which I do still do on occasion!) I often skip to that part first before I write anything. Odd, perhaps. Ah well.

Excited to have these little envelopes travel from Newfoundland to Labrador, Nova Scotia, Ontario, Manitoba, Alberta, British Columbia, New Zealand, Australia... it also makes it seem like the wedding is that much closer.

roof over our head

House-hunting is interesting. Brian and I are in the process of finding a place to set up our little 'nest'. I do really see it as that. I'm really excited to set up our first home as a married couple. Makes me all warm inside. Maybe it's an internal thing, the nesting instinct? Hehee.

Really, though, this is a big change.
I lived with my parents, then I lived with various roommates- lets see, from when I left for Halfway lake through university all the way till now I have had... hmm how many roommates. I am curious, lets write them out...
Mikayla- Halfway Lake
Shazi- first year UWO, London
Kristen- tent mate treeplanting
Lindi, Lisa, Monique, Steph- Pink Flamingo gals
Rita- first half of 4th year
Uncle Joe and Aunt Janette- Victoria first part
Elisabeth, Andrea, Aiden- Victoria second part
Carly, Jill- Kitsilano, vancouver
Hillary, Reba, Jana, Jessa, Hannah- Georgia St, van
Nanc, Ingrid, Shiloh, Melissa- Broadway, van
Cat, Esther, Danielle, Amanada- St. John's

... that makes at least 28 people I have shared dwellings with.... all over the country too. Northern ON, London, Victoria, Vancouver, Newfoundland.

And now I am going to have a new and permanent roommate-- my husband! Pretty excited about that. Which is also why I want to make sure that we find a great little house somewhere. And I know that we will. It's fun. This is where we are going to spend the first bit of our married life. See the sun rise and set, linger over coffee and breakfast, discuss over dinner, entertain friends and strangers... live day in and day out, figuring out all the little habits of everyday living that makes the other tick. I'm sure it won't always be easy. But it'll be an adventure.

Will keep you posted on the house hunting...

alive

I had a great Easter weekend. Some highlights...

- Hiking with Brian- we didn't even plan to hike, just started off as a walk, but when you lived on a rock next to the ocean walks often turn into hikes- love it

- baking bread and decorating an Easter cake

- running in the sunshine... there is a road just up the hill from my house that goes for 3.5 km through the woods, with sporadic houses along it.. makes you feel like you're running in cottage country or something. It is the saving grace of my neighbourhood as living 3 minutes from the biggest mall in the province (which isn't very big, but still) isn't my first choice

- just living alongside Brian-- he fixes his bike, I look up apartment listings online and read my book- I look forward to that very much when we get married, the everyday, day-in day-out life, together.

- Easter morning sunrise service-- blue and pink and golden over the northern Atlantic as the first rays of light to hit this continent were revealed before our eyes, and we marvelled at the risen Saviour... what better picture of that in creation than sunrise..

- Easter dinner with friends-- a potluck, delicious food and good conversation with 15 people from all different parts of our life, all crammed cozily into the living room

I am happy. Sometimes I am overly impatient for August 13 to arrive- but overall and by far I am doing my best, and I would daresay succeeding, at enjoying life for what it is right now. And it is very good. I feel like our decision to stay in St. John's has allowed me to stop holding my breath, and let go of my frustrations with this city and province which I was tightly clinging to as my last weapons in the decision/struggle about whether to stay here or not. Sure, it's not perfect.. but nowhere is.

What a wise friend told me recently is true.. wherever you are, you need to recognize the good things and make the most of it. Perhaps that seems simple enough, but when I have moved around so much in the last few years and put down roots only to uproot them for somewhere else, I really need to remember that. All that moving also makes it harder to commit to a place, I think, because the thrill of adventure is there with moving, in a sense, if you don't look too closely at all the adjustment and awkwardness and change that comes with it. But there is also a thrill and a great joy in choosing to put down some deeper roots.

There is still a huge part of me that insists that I don't want to stay in NL forever. And I really, at this point, am quite sure of that. But who I am to say where we will be in 5 years, 10 years.. perhaps I will be completely surprised.

it's all part of the adventure.

weekends are for wanderings

Scrabble in ON...

Had such a lovely weekend. Friday I finished my ACLS (advanced cardiac life support) course. Necessary for working in ER. It was interesting and challenging and I'm glad that I finally got the chance to take it. The heart intrigues me and now I feel more confident to deal with some of the stuff that comes through that ambulance door on a daily basis...

Then I walked home in the sunshine, cooked (new recipe- gingery chickpea stew with basmati rice, SO good!) and baked (crispy molasses cookies), went for a run, and had Brian over for supper... after which we sat and drank tea and dipped our cookies in same. Went for a walk around Quid Vidi (pronounced kiddy viddy for you non NFLDers! hehe) Lake... watched the stars. Saturday I worked but it was a good shift-- Sat night we had people over for Quelf. A really funny game, I highly recommend it. Sunday- good church, good fellowship, stew for lunch, then gallivanting over the southside hills with Brian and Carolyn. View of the city, then view of the blue north Atlantic... on days and at times like that I really do love this place.

My love of Newfoundland is a different type of love than I had/ have with BC. BC was more of a whirlwind romance, and it will be special in my heart for life-- probably will pull us back there eventually. Seeing as my in-four-months husband has British Columbian blood flowing through his veins, born and (mostly) raised on Vancouver Island and in northern BC. But with Newfoundland.. it's a slow, stubborn love that I have with this place.. sometimes a love- hate, sometimes I am in denial that it's there... but it is, and will continue to grow slowly but surely if I let it. Which I should and will and must, considering I will likely be here for a few more years.

Oh and the rest of yesterday= BBQ, biking, and then walking by the ships (Coast Guard is my fave!) Truffles and coffee at one of my favourite coffee shops. Sleep.

Also, 4 and a bit months until Brian and I get married!! Yesssssss.

checking in

It's been a whirlwind of a couple weeks.
There's so much to take in.
It's good.

It's been hard at times, I'll be honest. When one of the biggest parties of your life, aka a wedding, is approaching in less than 6 months, its hard not to get caught up in the planning- at least at first.

But now I can safely say that the big things are hammered out and the rest of it is just details. Little things which I can putter away on.

Sometimes I can't believe that I'm getting married. It's amazing how your world changes... things just keep happening and happening and all of a sudden, there you are- and everything is different. Yesterday I was on a plane to Victoria to do my final nursing placement there, wondering about living in BC and if I would really like it or not, wondering where it would all lead. Today I wake up and I'm here in Newfoundland and I've got this ring on my finger and a love so dear to my heart that I am ready to commit to the rest of our days together.

Amazing.

There is so much to learn. About communication and love and respect and honesty and compromise.. and trust. It sounds cliche but it's true. Where we will be in the fall (it's 'we' now, not just "I'- another amazement)- how long we will be here on the Rock- learning to appeciate the here and now and the wait and not yet and be patient and trust...

Adding to all of this, work has been taxing lately... and yesterday I couldn't give report to my oncoming nurse who was taking my patients without tearing up a little-- and cried on my way home. Combination of a super long hard day and the emotional drain I felt. Pray for the 35 yr old man and his wife and 10 month old baby who are dealing with the horrible monster of cancer. And the fact that it will likely snatch away his life in the next few days..... who am I to be their nurse? And yet I was... I only can hope that I gave them some small amount of good.

We rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.