alive

I had a great Easter weekend. Some highlights...

- Hiking with Brian- we didn't even plan to hike, just started off as a walk, but when you lived on a rock next to the ocean walks often turn into hikes- love it

- baking bread and decorating an Easter cake

- running in the sunshine... there is a road just up the hill from my house that goes for 3.5 km through the woods, with sporadic houses along it.. makes you feel like you're running in cottage country or something. It is the saving grace of my neighbourhood as living 3 minutes from the biggest mall in the province (which isn't very big, but still) isn't my first choice

- just living alongside Brian-- he fixes his bike, I look up apartment listings online and read my book- I look forward to that very much when we get married, the everyday, day-in day-out life, together.

- Easter morning sunrise service-- blue and pink and golden over the northern Atlantic as the first rays of light to hit this continent were revealed before our eyes, and we marvelled at the risen Saviour... what better picture of that in creation than sunrise..

- Easter dinner with friends-- a potluck, delicious food and good conversation with 15 people from all different parts of our life, all crammed cozily into the living room

I am happy. Sometimes I am overly impatient for August 13 to arrive- but overall and by far I am doing my best, and I would daresay succeeding, at enjoying life for what it is right now. And it is very good. I feel like our decision to stay in St. John's has allowed me to stop holding my breath, and let go of my frustrations with this city and province which I was tightly clinging to as my last weapons in the decision/struggle about whether to stay here or not. Sure, it's not perfect.. but nowhere is.

What a wise friend told me recently is true.. wherever you are, you need to recognize the good things and make the most of it. Perhaps that seems simple enough, but when I have moved around so much in the last few years and put down roots only to uproot them for somewhere else, I really need to remember that. All that moving also makes it harder to commit to a place, I think, because the thrill of adventure is there with moving, in a sense, if you don't look too closely at all the adjustment and awkwardness and change that comes with it. But there is also a thrill and a great joy in choosing to put down some deeper roots.

There is still a huge part of me that insists that I don't want to stay in NL forever. And I really, at this point, am quite sure of that. But who I am to say where we will be in 5 years, 10 years.. perhaps I will be completely surprised.

it's all part of the adventure.