blue ocean. blue sky. peace is creeping in.
thanks, pants.

April days

What a month. What a semester. What a year.

The waffling and flip-flopping and happy-happy to sad-sad and all the little spots in between- the allure of a new place and the gentle tugging of roots in the old. Sometimes drowning, floundering, yet building that new little community bit by bit- back of the mind says its transient, don't hold on too tightly, heart says you never know and some friends are friends for life. Hesitating to make the leap yet again, yet knowing that to stay will not work. struggling with an organized and efficient nature that fights the idea of sitting back and relaxing, yet slowly is warming up to the idea morning by peaceful morning. lots of room to breathe. think. what a gift, really. May. each day- "What do you have for me Lord?" each month. each year. this LIFE.

norah jones softly playing in the living room. spaghetti sauce simmering on the stove. french bread, salad, noodles. table set for 4.

this is the scene in my house right now. je suis contente.

still waiting in terms of jobs and such. but you know, it's okay.

funny how emotions just wrestle with us eh? or rather we wrestle with them. either way. it's so easy to get caught up in a particular mindset. to get all in a dither about something, but then when you really sit back and ponder it, realize its not such a big deal after all. to worry about how things are going to turn out. to fret cause you think something is a lost cause. but then slowly and surely, like a warm blanket, reassurance comes.

if i find my way

throught the darkest of days

will i laugh about the things that kept me awake?

but if my greatest fear

paints itself so crystal clear

will i run away, or will i hide

and if I dont come home tonight

just know i tried my best to fight

please dont think i planned to lose to the night

and crystal moon so dull and bright

my heavy soul cant stand the light

it burns me straight to the bones, my bones...

- rocky votolato, 'wrong side of Reno'

sounds so simple, the previous post. but it's not.
i'm officially done my shifts and i already feel like i'm drowning in the pool of post-graduation unknownness...
aaargh.