in the mountains

I am writing this post on our 3rd last night in northern BC. Though, our vacation is only halfway through... still have the lower mainland to visit! Tomorrow we are taking the train back to Prince George, and after a couple of days there are headed down to Vancouver, Abbotsford and Victoria for more BC fun. Hurray for holidays, vacation, visiting and adventures!!


This is the view from where I am typing:

webcam shot- big tree, farm yard, snowy mountains and beautiful sky..

Not bad eh? Brian and Bronwen and I have had a lovely vacation so far. It started out with a pretty busy but awesome weekend with all members of the Claus family.. including all 7 grandchildren- aged 5,4,3,2,1, 4 months and 3 months. We have all aspects of early childhood covered ;). It was great to catch up and also enjoy some of the sites to see in Prince George. Real northern BC activities such as the Railway and Forestry Museum (with a mini railroad!), Cottonwood Island Park, where we had a great picnic; and a recreation area by the Nechako River where we had a campfire and delicious dinner (including smores!)

We don't get to see this side of our family much (even less than the Bergshoeffs) so it was great as the last time we were all together was at our wedding, almost 2 years ago. After our reunion extravaganza, Brian and I and Bronwen travelled with Mom and Dad C another 750 or so km west to the town of Terrace, BC- right in the coast mountains. This is where the Claus's make their new home.. it is on a lovely island in Terrace called Braun's Island, in the Skeena River- River Mist Farm. We had a very relaxing time here and got to drink lots of tea together, share some delicious meals, do a few hikes and picnics, and even venture out to Prince Rupert.

I love this area. it's just surrounded by wilderness. Every direction you look there are mountains. Wild spaces. Unexplored peaks. I see some of these mountains and I just feel this urge to climb them. This fascination with mountains started the first time I ever saw a real mountain, from the Greyhound bus at about 5 am as we drove through the Rockies on my way to Prince George for my first season of BC planting, in April 2006.

As I look now at the mountains, I remember something I read in one of my favourite books, Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller. It goes something like this..

And these mountains, could they speak
Would thunder glory at their Maker
But instead stand silent
So that man's weak praise could be given God's attention

(I think I just made some of that up). But either way, that's kind of what I think when I look across the way at those hills.

These thousand hills roll ever on
Footprints of a mighty God
They bring me to my knees in praise
Amazing love, amazing grace
          -third Day- that one is for real ;)

I just noticed that my post about dear Chelsea has been looked at over 130 times. Maybe that is by the same person, I can't tell. But either way, her death has impacted us. It has impacted me. I think about her when I see a horse, when I think of swimming lessons, when I wrap Bronwen every night in the special blanket made by her mom Aunt Donna. I think about my Aunt Donna wrapping up her baby Chelsea every night and tucking her in to sleep and how she had to say goodbye 23 years later. I think and I wonder as I look at the mountains.

I lift my eyes up to the mountains
Where does my help come from?
my help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth

He will not let your foot slip
He who watches over you will not slumber
He who watches over you will neither slumber nor sleep

He was watching over Chelsea. That is what is so hard to understand sometimes.

Lord, grant us Your peace.

A valley of shadows..

My heart is heavy today for my family in Ontario. This afternoon they will bury my cousin Chelsea Feddema. She was only 23.

Chelsea Anne Feddema

March 31, 1989- May 6, 2012

Chelsea died suddenly and tragically on Sunday afternoon, May 6. She was riding one of the family horses when the horse ran uncontrollably into the road and was hit by a truck. Chelsea was thrown off the horse and lost her life. There was an article about Chelsea in a local paper here. And here is a clip that was on the local news.

Just like that, snuffed out. How does one bury a child? It must be the worst imaginable thing for a parent. On Sunday night after Brian and I heard the news, we crept into our sleeping Bronwen's room and just watched her breathe for a few minutes. Our children are so precious. And we do not know how long God will give them to us for. Hopefully, we will not live to see them die before us. But some are only here for minutes, some for weeks, and some for many years less than we would hope. For Chelsea, it was 23 short years.

I keep thinking about that. How God knew it all. He knew before she was born that this would all happen. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. He knew when I talked to Chelsea 2 1/2 weeks ago at her mom's/ my aunt Donna's birthday party, that exactly 2 weeks later she would be gone from us. How can we understand it all?

My dad is making a slide show for Chelsea's funeral with this song. The words are very fitting. Faith is all we can cling to, there is nothing else. God, bring your comfort and peace and most of all, hope. 

Someone posted this on Chelsea's facebook page. I thought it was neat. It is from an actual poem which I can't find, but the words are beautiful..

 And just at the moment when someone says "she's gone" , there are other eyes watching

 for her coming and other voices ready to take up the glad shout "here she comes!"

Chelsea (second from right) and her family:
my cousins Elise, Travis and Leah, with Uncle Harold and Aunt Donna.
(photo courtesy JannyLynn Photography)

Pray for them!!


the LORD is my shepherd

I shall not be in want

He makes me lie down in green pastures

He leads me beside quiet waters

He 

restores

my

soul

And guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake

even though I 

walk through

the valley

of the shadow 

of death

I will fear no evil

for you are with me

Your rod and your staff

they comfort me

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies

you anoint me head with oil

my cup overflows

surely goodness and

mercy

will follow me

all the days 

of my life

and i will dwell 

in the house

of the LORD

FOREVER

A much needed update!

It's about time that I showed myself on here again! Seeing as it's been over a month.. a lot has happened!

The most noteworthy event of the past month was my trip to Ontario with Bronwen. Brian let his ladies go away for 10 days to do lots of meeting and visiting in Ontario. It was very special.

Bronwen got to meet Grandpa B for the very first time... here we are at the baggage claim in the airport..

a picture says a thousand words...

And see Grandma B again!

here they are together

My brother Jonny and his lovely girlfriend Rebecca also came home so we got to spend some time together as well. It was really neat to see Uncle Jonny with his (favourite) niece!

I also was able to introduce Bronwen to her great Opa and Oma Bergshoeff. This was really neat to see. As Opa said, they will probably not be there to see her all grown up. One day I will show her these pictures and tell her about her great Opa and Oma (though maybe they will still be around, right Opa? :)

It was special to spend time with family, and introduce them all to our little girl. Bronwen was able to develop her social self to the limit... she seems to enjoy people and faces and smiling and 'talking'. It was pretty fun for her to have so many people around. I think now she is bored with just her mama for the majority of the day now.... well, not really I guess. But I'm not as funny as grandpa! ;)

with Ruth.

I didn't get pictures of Bronwen with Tara, or Salena, or Aunt Marion or Aunt Donna, or many of the other family members or people at church. But she definitely met a lot of new faces! It was interesting, because I was coming back to my hometown, to the church that I attended for most of my childhood, to our family home and to so many familiar people. But amidst all that stability and all of those memories, there was a huge  change in my life- little Bronwen. It makes for a lot of reflection and thoughts on how things just keep on changing and life rolls ever onward....

In a couple of weeks we are going to travel again.. this time with our whole little family. Out west to the wilds of beautiful British Columbia. To see Grandma and Grandpa Claus, and more aunts and uncles and cousins and friends. And Auntie Lindi is coming this weekend. Life is good!