anticipation

December is here and with it all kinds of excitement.

I love the days before Christmas.

I am currently knitting, scrapbooking, soon to be baking, attending Christmas social events, and working in the ER in my spare time. It's a nice way to spend the days.

It's easy to get caught up in the flurry of overactivity, the materialism. Last night I was at the mall and it just made me feel 'slup' after a while- so many people rushing around, everyone looking for the perfect gift. Brian and I managed to escape unscathed and pick up a few things for the family in BC without too much trouble.

I think that there is a fine line between getting a little something for your family because you love and care about them and obsessing over what exactly would make them 'happy.' As my family always says, 'and then you'll be happy' in reference to obtaining more material posessions. There is a lot of sarcasm imbedded in that little phrase, though you can't really tell by reading it. :)

We had an advent service at church on Sunday night... and that is where the true meaning of Christmas lies, in that Saviour of all creation- rocks and trees, skies and seas- lying in the manger, under the stars and the angels. We passed along the flame through lit candles along all the people sitting, and this made my heart smile... here we are, in the dark and windy winter, but we have this Light, this wondrous light.

I'm excited to go to Prince George in 11 days, excited for holidays and relaxing and Christmas!!!! Joy.

At the top: pics from our hike last Saturday out at Witless Bay.. foggy, windy, wet Newfoundland, I am becoming more attached to your wildness.

Warm milk

(sunset from my back porch)

Content right now. Just sipping a mug of the aforementioned delight, with a bit o'sugar and a bitta vanilla flavoured-coffee cream. Just the thing to perk you right up before a night shift.. haha. Not really but the walk to work will wake me up. It's clear and crisp outside today.

Excited for a day off tomorrow after I sleep off my night shift... and also that Brian is coming home on Thursday and we get to hang out this weekend. And drink coffee and play Risk and walk along the harbour by the ships. 'Tis lovely.

I have a number of other people's blogs that I read and I must say, I really enjoy blogs. Although it may be an old passed-on-by fad by now, I think it's interesting. A little window into someone's life. Fleeting and sometimes downright inspiring. I think that it is human nature that we often find other peoples' lives interesting. Watching them in different stages of life- stages past for us or those we are moving towards-- or identifying with someone's same experience that they seem to put into words so much better than you yourself can.

In the words of a song that I was introduced to on my epic road trip to Northern BC with Ashley this past spring..

All creatures of our God and King

Lift up your voice and with us sing

Sun moon and stars rejoice on high

Praise to the Lord of Light Divine

Sing Alleluia, Sing Alleluia

Praise the Father above, sing Alleluia

Sing Alleluia, sing Alleluia

For His infinite love

Sing Alleluia

November days

Today was unseasonally mild (I think) for Newfoundland-- about 9 degrees. I somehow ende dup at the 'Irish Loop Fall Fair' in Goulds- purchased for myself some chocolate covered apricots, a piece of chocolate cake (both homemade, and do we see a theme? sweet? chocolate?) .. also some little glass bead earrings for the shockingly low price of only $1/pair. From a little girl proud as punch to be selling them, I think she made them herself- and a good job she did at that.

Brian is gone to Cyprus for an engineering conference until late next week. It's not until he's gone that I realize how much time we actually do spend together. I am slightly envious that he gets to venture onto the (uncharted for both of us until now) continent of Europe.. but I shall get there someday as well.

Working tomorrow and Tuesday.. oh the joys of being casual= yet another weekend off, weekday day shifts, and 3 weeks off over the Christmas holidays. If I hadn't switched over I would be absolutely guaranteed spending either Christmas, New Years, or both in the ER, with 5 days off maximum over the holidays. That alone is worth forfeiting benefits, pension, and overall job security for flexibility and freedom to work when I like. I am still putting in full time hours, actually a bit more than full time for the first couple weeks of November.

Not much else to report. Really excited for the Christmas holidays. Enjoying fall here as well though. Its quite beautiful. The weather has also been much sunnier overall lately which is great. I missed those golden rays.

Onward I go...

While the stormy winds blow

Right now it's raining outside... as usual. I'm sorry for my general mood of negativity toward the weather of this city- I'm trying to be positive, really, I am. It's just that it seems when it is sunny (a rarity) I am cooped up within the confines of the health science centre emergency department, and when I am off work with time to spare (such as today) the storm winds are a-blowin' and the rain is pelting. Which is all well and good for one day, it's cozy and such, but beyond that... let's just say I am prone to cabin fever.

But I should. not. whine.

This weekend, during the last couple hours of one of my day shifts, I think I can honestly say that it was the most intense experience at work I have had- ever. We got a call on the radio from EMS that there was a code 9 (cardiac arrest) coming... then as that person came in there was another call for a traumatic accident- needed to be put in one of the major rooms-- aka Rm 2, my assigned post for the day. I experienced sudden and intense tachycardia at this point- got my room ready, primed IV tubings, gathered blood tubes and syringes, sedation drugs.. then there they come in... nonresponsive, combative patient... needed to be intubated.. fighting the whole time, couldn't get him sedated... and here I am, primary nurse for this room. Flurry of doctors, residents, etc. It's just like on TV, almost. Since it was in my room I needed to write everything down and make sure everything got done and is in order... then after the dust settles I have primary responsibility for this patient... scary. But I had good help. In the meantime, there was some other serious stuff going on too. It's so weird... right in the thick of all this I wanted to a) cry and b) run away, but at the same time, there I was, had to do what I needed to do, and really, that's all you can do. The intensity of the situation is ridiculous. It's terribly interesting too though, and I can see how people become 'adrenaline junkies', so to speak. I am still too scared of it all to be at that point- but I'm learning a LOT.

We had a fire at the beach last night with a few friends and it was awesome. Not to mention freezing, but still great. The moon was almost full, the sky was clear, and although the wind was blowing right in off the Atlantic we got a roaring fire going as the waves crashed beside us. It was almost surreal. Really glad we made the effort to get out there to Middle Cove beach... and it's only about a 15 min drive from the city! Gotta love that... there's no urban sprawl here.

It's November. Oh my. 6 weeks today I'll be on a plane to Prince George for Christmas!

things to remember

Well, today being October 28th, 2009- marks 2 things.

First of all, exactly 3 months since I arrived in this city of St John's. After 3200 km of driving, the last 900 or so of that being across this huge island known as 'the Rock', Brian and I arrived as the sun was setting on that evening in late July. It felt weird. Kind of surreal, especially after our epic road trip through Ontario, Quebec, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, and the ferry ride across the gulf of St Lawrence to the northwestern tip of Newfoundland. And now, here I am. I can say that it feels like home here. For that I am thankful. I've learned that its possible for many places to be home, and to have multiple 'homes' at once. Its an adventure.

Secondly, exactly 18 months since a Tim Hortons coffee in Victoria, BC where Brian and I started our (official) journey together. Now here we are, on the other side of the country. So thankful for where we have come, what we have learned and how we have grown- looking forward to more adventures together.

It's a long and rugged road and we don't now where it's headed

But we know it's going to get us where we're going

And when we find what we're looking for we'll drop these bags and search no more

Cause it's going to feel like heaven when we're home

It's going to feel like heaven when we're home

- the Wailin'Jennys, "Heaven When We're Home"

Just breathe

Not feeling particularly inspired to write anything right now but I don't like leaving on a grumpy note as per previous post... so I will attempt to get out a little thought or two.

There is a ray of semi-sunshine shining through my window- wait, it just turned into real sunshine- which makes me happy. It's been very soggy here lately. Lots of rain and wind. They say that it rains horizontally in Newfoundland because of the wind and I would say that is true.

It's October 20 today. I have been in St. John's for almost 3 months. hard to believe. I definitely feel more settled here than I did even a month ago. It all takes time, though. Still sometimes feel as though I'm wandering in a fog... literally and figuratively.

I've been reading the Chronicles of Narnia- in order- I have a book with all 7 of the books in it that I never have actually read until now (I'd only read some of the 7). It's such a good story.

Prince Caspian... From Aslan.

Then, after an awful pause, the deep voice said, "Susan." Susan made no answer but the others thought she was crying. "You have listened to fears, child," said Aslan. "Come, let me breathe on you. Forget them. Are you brave again?"

~~~~

nocturnal

I am just not a happy camper right now. I had to work night shift last night.. and tonight... and tomorrow night. Bleh!! I don't mind one, but any more than that is too much. I don't get enough sleep, I feel gross, I miss out on doing things, miss out on seeing the rest of the world when they are in their fun acitivites after work. Also, today was blue sky sunny, which we havent seen for at least a week, and I had to spend it sleeping. Shift work is so annoying sometimes. It feels like you are at odds with the rest of the world and its 9-5, mon-fri rhythm.

Grumpy and annoyed. Argh. It better be a good shift. Last night it was, though.

On the bright side of things these are the last 2 night shifts before I switch to a casual status employee, then I can schedule myself to never be working more than 1 night in a row. And I plan on doing just that.

Alright, here goes..

fall days

It's another cloudy day here in St. John's. We seem to be getting a lot of them lately... or maybe it's just that they fall on my days off. Ah well.

Had a lovely weekend- went for a great hike, and did orienteering on Sunday. I love backpacking. I love being out there, along the edge of the ocean. The salty spray smells so good, those 'ocean mist' air fresheners have nothing on the real thing. Also, we saw REAL seafoam coming down from the waves, white tufts of bubbles. And I love the taste of food when you're out hiking- soup and crackers, cheese, mango, and dark chocolate... mmmm. Everything is better outside.

This weekend is packed full or work but I'll get through it. Can't believe that it's already October. Less than 3 months till Christmas. 3 months till 2010. 2010, can you believe it? But I don't want it to hurry too much. I want to savour the fall. Before I get wallopped with my first Newfoundland winter. Apparently, all signs point to it being a big one.

'how they shimmer and shine so bright'

Last night Brian and I walked around, up, and down Signal Hill. Signal Hill is a classic St. John's landmark, it's a rocky hill at the entrance to the harbour. From one side, you can see the city, and from the other, the open blue Atlantic. I love it.

The sun was setting as we started out, it was dusk as we made our way around the rocky side of the hill, and by the time we got to the oceanward part the stars were out. Lots of stars. I saw a shooting star, and there we were, right on the edge of the city. That made my night.

Today is a blustery and rainy day but I had a lovely little lunch date at the Pantry, a little restaurant-cafe tucked at the foot of the hill in Pippy Park. It was a leisurely lunch, the best kind.

Now I go to the ER for the night. Let's hope its calmer than the weather. You never, ever really know though. Though that makes this job exciting.

small things

3 weeks later already... time is flying here. Today is the official halfway point of September.
The air is crisp in St. John's and fall is definitely in the air. No leaves changing colour yet, but I'm sure it's coming.

It's been interesting here. This move has not been easy. If I look back, when I moved to Victoria it was difficult. When I moved to Vancouver a few months later it was also a big challenge. And now here, in St. John's, it has been no different. As I should know and expect. But it turns out that after I am nice and settled into a place, I forget the rocky time at the beginning as it fades into distant memory... hence, I kind of forgot what it was like to move. But, that will come again.

There were a couple sunny spots to this past weekend. On Saturday, Brianne and Robert-- Lindi's cousin/ my friend and her fellow- invited Brian and I over for a BBQ. It was just lovely. I have been aching a bit for that kind of fellowship and there it was. We sat in the kitchen with grilled chicken to perfection, golden corn on the cob (a rareity in these parts, such good produce!) and a splash of red wine. Good conversation and good fun was had by all.

Then, Sunday morning. Decided to try out a new little church, and it also happened to be the first Sunday that this church, Mosaic, was having their service in the morning instead of night. They are a small church which is held in the chapel on the Memorial campus.... and it was great. We walked in there, and people were SO friendly. They have half an hour before the service where you can just drink coffee and eat goodies and chat... met some really nice people. And it was authentic and though-provoking and reverent and worshipful and inspiring... and full of love. As someone pointed out to me, "Your heart was smiling there, wasn't it". Yes, it truly was. Looking forward to going back.

Sunday afternoon Brian and I went to the first introductory meeting of the St John's orienteering club. This involved being handed a map with flags on it, and running along the trails/ tramping through the underbrush trying to find the elusive (some of them) hidden flags. It was great fun. We'll do it again, thats for sure.

And its thing's like these that slowly help to make this quirky city poised on the edge of the north Atlantic more like home.

Unhindered

Today I was in orientation at work... it was pretty short actually. We started at 9 and then ended about 2. It's a nice break from the 12 hour shifts. Learned about all sorts of interesting things.

And then when we got 'let out', I walked home in the glorious sunshine... and glorious is not an understatement. There's something about this place when the sun is shining and it's not too hot. The sky is SO blue, the trees are SO green, the air is SO clean-feeling. I love it.

So I hopped on my bike. 25 km, to St Phillip's and back. What a spot! Winding road down to the ocean, lakes along the way. Blue sky dappled with white fluffy clouds. Waves crashing onto the round rocks, still powerful from the remnants of last night's storm. That salty spray, ocean-smell. Boats docked. Fish-and-chip place by the water. And of course nothing like a good hilly bikeride to get the heart pumping...

There is something about, when one moves to a new place, just embracing it for all it is worth. I think that this is something I've come to learn. Sometimes I feel so out of place here. At work when everyone is talking a mile a minute in the breakroom and I'm stuck trying to figure out what 'stunned' and 'contrary' and dinner instead of lunch and supper instead of dinner mean. where's ya to, 'bye? And everyone asks why i moved here- "oh you're from away then"- 'you're not a newfoundlander, are ya?" "must've followed your man"...which is usually followed by, "oh, just you wait till the winter". Yes, I will wait for the winter.. and enjoy summer while it's here, thanks very much. Ha.
While the above is all true, it is also said very good-naturedly, and Newfoundlanders are friendly people. Even if they drive crazily and their grocery stores have sub-par expensive produce and no fish sauce.
But I also do live on a giant beautiful rock, surrounded by the ocean, rich in history, wild and rugged and coastal and GOOD. and so i will continue to find little jewels such as St Phillip's and the rock above the meadow at Quidi Vidi Lake and the blueberries at Blackhead and the path beyond the lighthouse at Cape Spear.

of great change and ocean tides

synopsis:

Moved to St John's, Newfoundland

Now live on the other edge of this country, next to the northern Atlantic

Work in Emergency

Live with 2 other gals- soon to be 4

Overwhelmed sometimes, though that's getting less... quite enjoying it a lot of the time- this whole moving business. This time is different, though...

the best part is that now

I live in the same city

As my love

:)

june

well. I know its been almost 2 months since I posted. a lot has transpired since then. let me fill you in- in a nutshell. aka short sentences.
- Houston, BC is a very quaint town. Kyle the welder lives there.
- Grizzly bears and many, many black bears live in the wilderness surrounding Houston. I saw both.
- I am moving to the other side of the country in less than 2 months.
- I moved out of my old house a week and a bit ago. I still live in East Van.
- I am going to be a bridesmaid in about 26 days.. i think. The bride knows the countdown better than I.
- My brother is now a real pilot.
- My other brother is soon to be a high school graduate and will be attending my alma mater in the fall.
- Driving stick is hard. Mostly if you are worried about breaking your friend's car which has been driven ridiculous amounts to arrive at current destination. Also if you are just starting to learn.
- Weddings are beautiful. Jeremy and Anna are married!
- Gerberas remain my favourite flower though they are troublesome to arrange.
- Rice pudding cups after work are a small joy in life.
- I am doing my part to prevent varicose veins now by wearing compression socks to work- and my legs are thankful.
- I love taking pictures with an SLR. I feel artsy. See below.
- My parents are soon to see this province I love.
- I've finally been to Barkerville. It was great fun. There is gold in them 'thar hills. And it was a min-road trip with Brian aka superfun.
- I have 9 shifts left. Then a month off. Then I'm going to be an ER nurse.

life is full of changes and challenges and laughter and love and its GOOD.

april showers

Well it's been a while since I posted anything on here- over a month to be exact. Now I'm pretty sure that no one, or very few people at least, read this but it's still kind of nice to be able to look back and see the events of the past year.

I can't believe that we're already halfway through April. I came back from Newfoundland feeling that the next few months were going to go by really slowly.. but now April is halfway done and May is booked chock full of great activities. Such as- a road trip with Ashley! Jeremy and Anna's wedding with Brian... fun fun stuff that makes me very excited.

I feel as though I'm in a bit of a weird place right now actually. I'm trying to make the most of my time in Vancouver, but at the same time so much thought and time seems to be devoted to making plans for what's coming next. I guess it's all a balance. Living fully in the moment while making plans for the next steps, all the while trusting that God is in control. That is a lesson I need to learn over, and over, and over again.

well i was crazy about you then

and i'm still crazy bout you now

over ten years have gone by

you're still mine

locked in time.. lets rewind

do you remember when..

-jack johnson

East meets west

February was an eventful month. I went to Newfoundland for 10 days to visit Brian and in process got a nice taste of the east coast. It tastes like salty air and screech and fresh fish. Mmmm. It was a great trip. The east coast seemed to me surprisingly more rugged and rocky and ocean-like than the west- at least than Vancouver- I think it's because Vancouver is sheltered by the vast land mass of Vancouver Island. (I suppose Tofino compared to St John's would be another story).

One of the highlights of the trip, going with the wild ocean theme, was walking along and around the bottom of Signal Hill, the high hill that sits at the entrance to the St John's harbour. There we were, along the high rocky shores, still very snowy- with the cold blue deep north Atlantic roaring and swirling below. It was so unbelievably windy on the point- I really felt in danger of blowing off. Luckily that didn't happen. :)

My birthday was also a fun day- waffles and phone calls. strawberries and a great hike, ocean and sushi, friends and a movie. Very good. Very, very good. Plus a surprise visit from a friend from Victoria and then a pub night with the house on Sunday- it made the whole birthday weekend fantastic. (And I started the birthday week with Sunday morning fondue breakfast in St John's if you want to go back that far)

The next few months are going to be interesting. Vancouver is a great place in the spring. I'm looking forward to some more adventures. Will keep y'll posted.

February days

It's been ages so after a little prompting from some well-meaning individuals I am finally posting. Also I am on my days off now which bodes well for some pondering time. :)

What is going on in my life lately you may ask? Well. Our house is back to 4 lovely friends as Hillary has returned from her Indonesian-Singaporean adventures. I've been working a lot lately but work has been good. Something I've really noticed lately is the team spirit thing we've got going on up in ortho trauma.. I really appreciate so many of the people I work with there. Helping each other when the going gets crazy, starting IVs when veins collapse for one, going into a patient room two at a time so the crazy woman can't hit you with her newspaper while you try to take her blood pressure. Standing beside a dying patient as he takes his last breaths- making silent signals to each other about not finding a pulse as his anxious daughter stands nearby- that bonds people. We look out for each other. And at 4 am a lot of things become awfully funny.

Also of note lately is that a week from today I'll be in St John's, Newfoundland! So excited about that. It'll be so good to see Brian again... and to see his world out there. Context means a lot.

Vancouver is gorgeous lately and I am developing a deeper and deeper appreciation for this city. It hasn't been such an awful winter at all really. And now we've been getting sun quite frequently... Cypress, Grouse and Seymour look positively majestic. If you didn't know this already, I love the mountains. Had an amazing bikeride with Nancy to North Vancouver last week and oh, the sunset.... amazing. So amazing.

The Lord God is in His holy temple, let all the earth be silent before him.

(Habbakuk something...)

jagged peaks

Well it's a Friday afternoon and the weekend is beginning. Though I am working tonight and tomorrow.. not so much of a weekend perhaps. I don't mind though.

The lovely sun shone on Vancouver today. And as a matter of fact, it is still shining. The days are getting longer.

Today I went for coffee. had a nap. had two lovely phone calls. made some cookies. puttered around the house. read a good book. It was a good day. Nice and relaxing.

Not much else to say. Sometimes I really wish I could drive off into the beautiful mountains which I see everyday. Those of you who I hang out with a lot (ie Nanc) are going to laugh because I say that a lot. But something about them just makes me feel restless. A good restless. An adventurous feeling. They're just so mysterious to me.

On that note, I'm going to make some dinner and then head to l'hopital... Au revoir, tout le monde.

northern new years

This is my first post of 2009. Of other importance is that yesterday marked 1 year since I moved to BC- flying into Victoria on January 8, 2008. Crazy! What a year it's been. Some of the hardest times of my life, with all the change and transition, but it's all been worth it- it's been a great year. I've been to some really neat places, got to know 2 awesome cities. Met amazing people, people who I think will now be part of my life for a long, long time. Graduated, started a new job, lived in 4 houses... it's been pretty eventful, that's for sure.

I just got back from an amazing time up in Prince George with Brian and his family. The people of PG definitely know how to have fun in the snow. We went snowshoeing, cross country skiing, skating, sledding, walking in the (super deep) snow... lots of fun. Also just talking face to face and hanging out together was fantastic. We haven't done that in a while. Now we once again live on (literally) opposite ends of the country.

Other than that, Vancouver is still recovering from the massive dumping of snow which we had over the holidays. I think we narrowly averted the possibility of some massive floods but it's still pretty soggy out there. Tomorrow I'm supposed to be going snowshoeing as the mountains are still snow-covered- looking forward to it as those mountains are one of the main reasons why I love this city. Then Monday it's back to work. I've also reached the 6 month mark at VGH which seems to have flown by.

Life is interesting. Challenging, frustrating, exasperating at times. But God is good.