it's love, it's love that holds us.

we will be alright.

it's truth, its truth that shows us

as we walk in this life....

- brooke fraser, 'deciphering me'

the perils of high society

The other night I had an interesting evening with my friend Nanc. She was housesitting for someone who owned a 'penthouse' downtown. (When I say penthouse I mean a moderately fancy apartment with over 20 floors and a granite and marble lobby. And a 'concierge'- that is a key fact). Anyway, we biked there and since we had no key-opener thing for the parking garage, brought our bikes in the front lobby. Clearly the logical choice. We were planning on bringing them in the elevator up to the apartment (alright maybe that is slightly abnormal). This is the part where the concierge saw us trying to infiltrate the place and became quite upset- "No bikes in the elevator! I have a loose dog to deal with right now! The tires are going to damage the floors!" And other such great calamities. He opened the garage door for us and made it clear that this extreme problem of ours, not knowing how to get in with our bikes, would be dealt with "on a case by case basis." So we biked into the parking garage, narrowly escaping being crushed by the iron grated gate (not quite, but close- it seemed like that anyway). Found a spot to lock up our bikes amid the bike graveyard (aka a creepy hallway of bike cages). Took the mirrored marbled floor elevator up the the 23rd floor. And drank tea while overlooking the tall office buildings around us. We decided not to close the blinds when we slept cause it looked cool outside. But it became evident in the wee hours that as cities never sleep, neither do the naive country-dwellers who leave the blinds open so the office building lights can shine in all night. Okay, thats a lie. I did sleep. But I did crave darkness, real quiet, real night, as well.

I think the whole thing was just an interesting little evening for me in I learned, or reaffirmed, that I am definitely not a live-in-the-downtown-core in a highride apartment kind of person. I love greenspace, open sky, backyards, quiet streets. Not windows that open 6 inches, dizzyingly carpeted hallways and stacked living, 23 floors at a time.

That was just a little story for you all. It was a fun night. Vancouver and I are becoming quite good friends. Other things to note of late...
I climbed a mountain last week. A real one. Elevation 1441. It was awesome. I love mountains, and now I want to climb some more. That was a stellar day.
Spent a lovely week with Brian. This includes the hike (and some other hikes too). If you don't know who Brian is, you should ask me. He lives in St. John's, Newfoundland. As of Tuesday.

Working the night shift tonight. Hopefully all will be well.

More adjustments to make these next few weeks. Hopefully it all goes well. Must be mindful of many blessings and remember to be a blessing to others.

new beginnings

September is upon us, my dear reader(s). It's hard to believe, I think. Because September sounds like school, which is no more for me, and it also sounds like fall, but it doesn't seem like it's time for fall yet.

On Saturday, I moved. Across the city. Now I live with 4 other lovely roomies in a house (yes, a house! not a basement suite) east of Commercial Drive in Vancouver. I think it's going to be good. I like these girls. I know them fairly well, seeing as one of them is dating my cousin, I have hung out with them all in previous visits to Vancouver, and they were hospitable enough to let me stay here on those visits. Little did they know that I was already eyeing this as a potential place to live way back then... and was trying to get insight into any of their annoying habits. Ha. Just kidding, I really had no idea I would end up living here. Life is funny that way.

So here I am. Living in a real house, with a front porch, back porch, garden (of sorts), big mugs for tea, and a living room with couches. It feels like a home, not a rental. And of course the most important factor contributing to that is the people themselves... its a little mini family. reminds me of the Pink Flamingo, much better than roomies with all separate lives. We even cook for everyone else one night a week. How sweet is that.. ya I thought it was a pretty good arrangement. Much better for the soul than grabbing some frozen stir fry out of the freezer and sitting in front of my computer eating because I don't have a dining room table or anyone to talk with at dinner anyway...

So new beginnings, here we go. New house, new roommates, new commute to work, new church (I'm working on that one), new season.... it's exciting. And I think that I am getting better at this whole transition thing. Slowly. It''s not always smooth sailing, but I know to expect that now.

And I will be here longer than 3 months! As far as I can tell anyway. Its a good improvement from the last 3 places I lived. during the last 8 months. hmm. will be nice to leave this semi-nomadic lifestyle behind for a while..

those summer nights

Summer is winding down. There seems to be a sense of urgency as the weekends approach- 'quick! get out there! do something!' And indeed, Vancouver is giving snippets of its rainy days to us- throwing one in here and there, a reminder of the impending winter- 'this is what's coming, folks, so enjoy the sunshine while you can.'

And indeed I will try to do just that. Yesterday a dear friend surprised me on my porch as I arrived home from a somewhat gruelling dentist apppointment. (I've had worse, but never had a cavity filled while wearing a 'rubber dam', equivalent to having an uninflated balloon stretched over your entire mouth and being told to breathe through your seemingly too-small nostrils while 4 hands cram their way into your already obstructed mouth). But, back to the sun- I went with Nancy down to the park, and we sat on a blanket and talked. And fell asleep in the glorious sunshine while those mountains which I love to talk about loomed across the water.

I really can't believe that today is August 22. It seems that each month goes by even faster than the one before. Am I getting old in that I keep questioning 'where has the time gone?' Is this something that comes with working, especially working in these 4 day chunks where I disappear into the hospital world, then emerge for my days off and leave Vancouver as I have done the last couple times? Either way, change is coming again. But I'm really looking forward to it. At the end of the month I'm moving out- moving across the city, in with some people who I already know and find quite fantastic. It'll be nice to live in a busy place sometimes as much as it'll drive me nuts occassionally too. And I need to find a church and get some roots put down somewhere. Living in a place that I'll be in longer than 3 months, finding a community that I won't be subconsciously already leaving before I even start going there... I think both will work wonders for feeling a little more settled in this place. Which I'll need as fall comes, life goes on, and some people very important to me are very far away.

Life is good though. got much to be thankful for.

Into the wilds

Great weekend. 2 friends plus a good hike and some mountainsides, a cold lake, lots of greenery, packs and boots, and a glorious campsite named Vomit Vista. (glorious view, not glorious for flat spots to put the tent).

The rain was there, all night, which did put a damper on things... But I was actually enjoying hiking out of there in the morning with the rain pouring down and my coat and rain pants and boots on and that sort of closed-in feeling that you get walking with a hood on when its raining- thinking about how it was good we were on our way out not in. (I didn't tell Alex I was enjoying that moment because I think she was thinking otherwise with some leaky boots). Plus the dates and figs and chocolate were so so good.

Now back to work. During the new grad sessions they told us about "stages of reality shock" when you first start this job. I think that I have entered the Shock stage (preceded by Honeymoon, followed by Recovery and Resolution). Description of this stage, straight from my handouts, is as follows..

" Decreased motivation, high anxiety, no sense of humour at work, overly sensitive, people leave their jobs and sometimes the profession if they don't make it through this stage. 'Deer in headlights.' Role frustration, increased fatigue, isolation."

Well. At least I can diagnose myself. I think my main goal right now should be just to get through each shift, get everything done I need to do, and make it home alive.

It'll come. I hope. Just have to be patient. There's a lot of things to be patient about lately it seems.

bleary eyes

Nights are weird. But I'm getting used to them. I worked all day today, but I'm fighting sleep tonight so I can sleep more tomorrow. So far its going okay.

Today was good. First day on my own. It felt good. When I get a little faster I think it'll feel even better.

The sunshine in this city was glorious today. Just fantastic. Gotta soak it up cause the rains are coming... it's kind of like this feeling of impending doom. But I think it'll have its own charms... hopefully. Tea inside with a biscuit? Mmm. Biking in the rain? Ummm.. sure. actually we'll see about that one. I don't know if I can be as hardcore as I was in Victoria.

plink plink ouch

Playing the guitar is therapeutic.

I can now play 2 songs, 1 week into this thing, starting from scratch-
leaving on a jet plane... and brown-eyed girl (though I prefer blue-eyed boy).

They don't sound spectacular, but it's a start.
More to come.