westbound

Tomorrow morning at 5 am I leave for Toronto... fly to Vancouver... fly to Victoria.. aaaahhh! I can't believe it. I am basically pretty much very excited. I think I'll have to temporarily convince myself that I'm not going or I'll never get any sleep tonight...

ps- I changed the settings on here (I didn't even know that was possible!) so anyone can comment, not just people with google accounts- because I know that setting up yet another account with password and all that for something is basically pretty annoying and no one feels like doing it.

[In reference to the photo- next time you go to Niagara Falls- you know the stone tower thing that the lights shine out of onto the falls? If you go and knock on the door, a man might let you inside, and then you can change the lights and it is altogether quite a fun activity. Thanks Amber our tour guide for letting us in on this on Saturday.. I thought it was just a rumour when I heard about it in high school.. :)]

getting closer

Only a few days left now. Bought a new bike helmet today as I am soon to become a bicycle commuter. Have to sort through my mountain of nursing notes- it's amazing how much paperwork can accumulate from university courses- and decide what I want to bring with me to study for the RN exam. Yesterday I went on a hike with Chris up the escarpment along the Bruce Trail. Well, not really along the trail. We couldn't find it under the snow so we blazed our own trail through the bush and actually ended up where we wanted to be anyway. There are outdoor opportunities in the Niagara region, they're just not very obvious. It was nice to do that with Chris. I enjoy the company of my brothers, they have turned out to be quite hilarious and fun to be around. I wish that we saw more of each other.

new beginnings

Today is the second-last day of 2007.

2008 is just around the corner.

This is the year that's been dangling in front of me like a carrot for a while now- 'Class of 2008' on all my nursing nametags, the year I will graduate, the first year in my life where I have no idea where I will be one year from now.

Scary. But also deliciously exciting.

Like a fresh new flower. (I had to make it connect to the flower picture somehow, cause I wanted to post it, 'cause they're so beautiful- Westbrook Greenhouses grows them well...)

Musings

Here I am, about to leave for BC in.. hmm. Let me see. 10 days. Crazy.

I am so excited and scared at the same time.

I’m excited for the opportunities. For bringing my nursing skills outside of London and learning more, and going to the beautiful coast, and living with Uncle Joe and Aunt Janette. Exploring new places. Visiting friends and cousins who live out west. Learning to surf. Going hiking. Learning to snowboard on some huge western slope. Following my dream. Figuring out what my next step in life is going to be.

I’m scared of the unknown. Of only knowing 2 souls in Victoria. The awkwardness of being the new person. The high expectations on me as a nurse coming all the way from Ontario. Of the loneliness of being in a new place. Being without my friends who I can go to coffee with and spill my guts. Being without people who know me and who I am and what I love and what I do.

I’m going to miss London. Miss the friends for life that I have made there. Even miss the school scene, sometimes. The satisfaction of assignments finished. The environment of the world of academia, though at the same time I’m really starting to crave the ‘real world’.

This is such a huge change. In the sense that it is the most unplanned thing that I’ve ever done. There is so much that I will have to figure out. Working at the park- I go, live in the staffhouse, there’s not a whole lot of room for choice. Go to university- make my way through a program, live in residence in first year, follow the plan. Treeplanting- live with a bunch of people my own age, and though its an adventure, also have my life dictated by my foreman and supervisor. But now, this is the beginning of a whole new leg of this journey called life. Where will I find my first ‘real’ job, where will I begin to find my community, where will I live and love and call home?

I need to remember what my wise friend said- in times of transition, its okay to have fears. Its okay to have doubts. I am going to come out on the other side of this. There’s no where to go but forward, no way I can move now but westward. So here I go. Soon. Just got to trust.

Above photo is perhaps slightly irrelevant but reminds me of fantastic summer '07.

Christmas

Merry Christmas to all.

Closer

A road stretched out before her
The path not to be seen
She pondered, questioned, wondered
Just where this path would lead
Yet Jesus gently whispered
‘My daughter, do not fear
Thought worries, doubts, and unknowns loom
I’m always, always here’
Indeed she marvelled at His hand
His plan unfolding still
For just when questions screamed too loud
The answers He’d fulfill
A yes was giv’n, a go ahead
The next step made quite clear
Amidst her joy, and newfound trust
God walking with her near.

the end is nigh

Tomorrow morning I will write the last exam of my university career. It's quite a strange thought. I don't think it has really sunk in that THIS time when I leave London and drive east down the 401, I'm not coming back- at least not for any extended period of time. I've come out on the other side of the 3 1/2 years of classes for this degree and now all I need is a solid 450 hours of clinical time- which I'm going to be completing at Victoria General Hospital- Victoria- Vancouver Island- British Columbia- Canada!! It's such a wild thought- that I'm going to pack my bags and take my nursing skills to the other side of the country. Part of me is terrified, but more of me is excited. I've wanted to do this for a long time.