Here I am, about to leave for BC in.. hmm. Let me see. 10 days. Crazy.
I am so excited and scared at the same time.
I’m excited for the opportunities. For bringing my nursing skills outside of London and learning more, and going to the beautiful coast, and living with Uncle Joe and Aunt Janette. Exploring new places. Visiting friends and cousins who live out west. Learning to surf. Going hiking. Learning to snowboard on some huge western slope. Following my dream. Figuring out what my next step in life is going to be.
I’m scared of the unknown. Of only knowing 2 souls in Victoria. The awkwardness of being the new person. The high expectations on me as a nurse coming all the way from Ontario. Of the loneliness of being in a new place. Being without my friends who I can go to coffee with and spill my guts. Being without people who know me and who I am and what I love and what I do.
I’m going to miss London. Miss the friends for life that I have made there. Even miss the school scene, sometimes. The satisfaction of assignments finished. The environment of the world of academia, though at the same time I’m really starting to crave the ‘real world’.
This is such a huge change. In the sense that it is the most unplanned thing that I’ve ever done. There is so much that I will have to figure out. Working at the park- I go, live in the staffhouse, there’s not a whole lot of room for choice. Go to university- make my way through a program, live in residence in first year, follow the plan. Treeplanting- live with a bunch of people my own age, and though its an adventure, also have my life dictated by my foreman and supervisor. But now, this is the beginning of a whole new leg of this journey called life. Where will I find my first ‘real’ job, where will I begin to find my community, where will I live and love and call home?
I need to remember what my wise friend said- in times of transition, its okay to have fears. Its okay to have doubts. I am going to come out on the other side of this. There’s no where to go but forward, no way I can move now but westward. So here I go. Soon. Just got to trust.
I am so excited and scared at the same time.
I’m excited for the opportunities. For bringing my nursing skills outside of London and learning more, and going to the beautiful coast, and living with Uncle Joe and Aunt Janette. Exploring new places. Visiting friends and cousins who live out west. Learning to surf. Going hiking. Learning to snowboard on some huge western slope. Following my dream. Figuring out what my next step in life is going to be.
I’m scared of the unknown. Of only knowing 2 souls in Victoria. The awkwardness of being the new person. The high expectations on me as a nurse coming all the way from Ontario. Of the loneliness of being in a new place. Being without my friends who I can go to coffee with and spill my guts. Being without people who know me and who I am and what I love and what I do.
I’m going to miss London. Miss the friends for life that I have made there. Even miss the school scene, sometimes. The satisfaction of assignments finished. The environment of the world of academia, though at the same time I’m really starting to crave the ‘real world’.
This is such a huge change. In the sense that it is the most unplanned thing that I’ve ever done. There is so much that I will have to figure out. Working at the park- I go, live in the staffhouse, there’s not a whole lot of room for choice. Go to university- make my way through a program, live in residence in first year, follow the plan. Treeplanting- live with a bunch of people my own age, and though its an adventure, also have my life dictated by my foreman and supervisor. But now, this is the beginning of a whole new leg of this journey called life. Where will I find my first ‘real’ job, where will I begin to find my community, where will I live and love and call home?
I need to remember what my wise friend said- in times of transition, its okay to have fears. Its okay to have doubts. I am going to come out on the other side of this. There’s no where to go but forward, no way I can move now but westward. So here I go. Soon. Just got to trust.
Above photo is perhaps slightly irrelevant but reminds me of fantastic summer '07.
2 comments:
dear jen.
i am home again... and was thinking about you yesterday throughout the travels... my least favourate day of travel ever i think... i was sick - not pleasant... but that is not why i thought of you - more because i was debating jumping out of the bus and heading for the hills and forging a life for myself in a dangerous country where i don't *really* speak the language... lol... and perhaps that'll happen someday - have fun on your adventure and when you need to "go for coffee" come online and we'll chat... the 3 hour time difference will help with the whole - me up late you not usually thing :P tho i guess that'll change with shift work...
anywho - just thought i'd drop a line...
merry christmas
arab!
Hmmm... I don't remember ever telling you that! Oh... perhaps you have another wise friend!!
I'm glad I at least got on the post via the picture!
Hope your hollidays are going well!
Post a Comment