today

i sort of wanted to go to work today
thought the phone would ring at six
bracing myself to face the world


instead i woke at seven
sleeping bear beside me
another day of my own


stocked up the cupboards
raisins and dates, oats and bran
baked a loaf, sipped some tea
sweet lemon fills the house


smells like spring out
birds chirping, warmer breeze
sky still dark and moody but such we have come to accept


pondered hopes, wondered what the summer might bring
spring puts such thoughts in the mind
ran along the shore
how blessed i am to be able to feel my heart
pounding in my ears
as the waves pound below and the rock towers high


husband's tomato soup, crackers and tangy goat cheese
fresh water, good music
time to be still


this is the good life, in all its ups and downs

tea and theology

Last fall a couple friends at church and I started thinking that we really wanted to start a women's small group. Our little church is really young and small, but it's still, as with any church, not really that easy to cultivate deep friendships with people beyond Sunday morning small talk. You need to get beyond that.

So we started to meet in January. We had a book, but as the weeks have gone by we've strayed farther and farther beyond the book into so many topics. And it's so good. There were 6 of us a few times, but there has consistently been 4 for the last 10 weeks, and these 4 women are awesome. We talk about the daughters of Eve, aka women of the Bible, which is the subject of our book. But this leads into so many other discussions..

love
marriage
the exclusivity of Christ
heaven
baptism
career choices
homemaking
birth control
pregnancy
weddings
engagements
dating
men
spirituality
worship
food
cooking
sex
books
childhoods
homeschooling

and more and more. I am so thankful for these ladies and the thinking that they have inspired in me, the ponderings as we discuss what it means to be a Christian woman today... in St. John's, in Newfoundland, in Canada, in society. Two grad students- one arts and one science; an accountant, a nurse, one dating, one engaged, two married, one pregnant.... there's a lot of ground to cover.

It's fun to walk this road together.

It's really special to have some kindred spirits in St. John's who share my faith and who I can have these deep talks with. I've been waiting for this. Praying for this.

May we keep growing.

weekend togetherness

I'm sitting here at our kitchen table quite content. It's raining outside, on top of the snow and slush.. it's grey and brown and there's not a speck of green out there on this April 2. But that's alright.

I am happy that it's the weekend. I'm glad that last night, after a failed movie attempt and some waffling around over plans, I ended up staying in with Brian and making dessert together. Bananas Foster. Yummy- it involves bananas, Dutch banana liquer, brown sugar and butter and vanilla ice cream... and lighting all of the above on fire (minus the ice cream). Fun!

Saturday mornings at our house involve crepes and jam, coffee and goodness. It's becoming a little tradition that I love. Even if Brian has to go in to school like he did today, it's still a chance to linger over steaming coffee together and bask in weekend relaxedness. Also makes me appreciate days off, since I work some Saturdays and a lot of weekdays.

Mom and Dad Claus are coming in 3 weeks and I'm looking forward to having some family time! Sometimes its a bit lonely on this island when our closest rellies are 3000 km away.

Looking forward to spring so very much. It's sneaking up on us very slowly. The days are longer. The furnace doesn't fire up quite as much. There's not quite as much of a chill in the air. Yesterday I walked for about 20 minutes without a toque (before it got too chilly again). It feels so strange to walk around bare-headed. I can't even imagine exposing my white legs in shorts! Haha. Or a T-Shirt- what does that feel like again?

I am thankful for the flexibility of my job right now and that I can avoid working a lot of nights and weekends-- a rarity for nursing. I'm glad that I can be in church on Sundays and in my own bed at night.

A very happy anniversary to my dear Mum and Dad today-- 28 years together. Love you both so much and so thankful for your marriage. I know you will have an awesome time roadtripping down in Arizona next week. Off into the sunset you go!

So there's a lot to be thankful for. I had a bit of a rough time recently. learning to be patient- what else is new.. I tend to be a bit impatient sometimes. And then get a whole string of events planned out in my head of how things might end  up being. Need to be reminded once again that it's not up to me.. and sometimes there's nothing I can do but watch and wait and learn and be still. Treasuring the here and now, while acknowledging the 'wait' and 'not yet'...

March days

Hello there.

It's been a while since I've posted anything on here. March has been full of snow, lots of working and studying, a bit of colds and snuffles and a stomach bug. Snowshoeing, long hours, yummy new dishes, good friends. A bit of missing people. Windy days. A birthday and cake. Lots of hot tasty beverages.

Feeling hopeful for spring. For flowers and buds and new growth and new life. Winter is long on the edge of the North Atlantic.

I'm not really feeling particularly inspired to write anything here, but I just wanted to let you know that I was still here. If anyone was wondering. :)

More to come.

In like a lion...

Yet in the swirling winds and blowing snow we still find grace.

Yesterday, as i walked through that muted light that comes just before dawn, the sun was rising. Amidst the cold and blue, that golden ball of light, surrounded by pink clouds, and rising above our hill overlooking the ocean. Glimpse of glory.

All of creation declares Your glory.

Recent hike- Maddox Cove, East Coast Trail

sometime soon, I will get up and take pictures of that glorious sunrise :)

Not just your ordinary chocolate sprinkles..

we brought these back from the Dutch shop as part of our 'post-Olibollen grocery haul'-- and can I just say... that with a spackling of butter on some fresh white bread, or a bun as I had just now-- they are delicious. Mmmm.
The Dutch are very wise.

It's snowing.. again. Well sort of raining at the same time. Only in Newfoundland.

Come on sun. It's okay though, these grey days. Such is life on the coast.

That's all for today.

the one I love

Yesterday, Valentine's Day. The day of love in all the red and pink, frilly sense of it-- fluffy teddy bears, overly iced cupcakes, cinnamon hearts and paper cutout cards. I still remember in elementary school- the paper 'mailboxes' on our desks, "one for everyone or none at all", cartoon character cards and the one mysterious boy in the class who would always sign with a question mark rather than his name. Brandon, I know it was you. The skating at the arena.. secretly my worst nightmare. The girl who grew up in semi-tropical New Zealand during the formative 'learning how to skate" years... could only really timidly, stiffly glide carefully around the rink and hope, hope I wouldn't fall. And hold on for dear life when everyone made those chains that whipped the poor person on the end around the corners at lightning speed. And marvel at everyone else who skated as easily as they walked. And blush furiously the whole way around the rink when I did skate with one boy, anticipating the teasing on the bus home that afternoon. Derek, you were always a good friend, but I'm glad we both found the right person. :)

And now, here I am. 14 years later on Feburary 14. With the one I love.

That morning was a rough one. Tears and frustrations and he held me close and comforted me- "I'm here". And he really is. The trust between us only grows stronger.

A day at home, a day at work. Cleaning the house and gaining fresh perspective and scrubbing away doubts and worries and fears. Blue sky and fresh snow, renewed hope. A big pot of warming winter stew to greet him on the stove.

And when I get home, after walking under the stars in the cold winter night- candles to warm my heart. The taller lit by us 6 months earlier as we vowed to each other- to love and to cherish as long as we both shall live. What does that mean, from day to day? We only learn that more and more as the days and months and if we are blessed with them, years, go by. When the everyday life crowds out the precious moments together, remembering to step back and see the bigger picture. Just like that morning. Learning to let go of trivial things. Looking out for the other and just loving, to LOVE. There is far more struggle and sacrifice and serving and pure, true joy in that word, that verb, that indescribable gift, than I ever knew and will ever know.

The wooing teapot, same one he poured tea with  for me three years ago in Victoria when our love was just a spark. Cake and strawberries and custard- he knows what I like. He knows me.

To be loved and to love in return. Thank you.

where you invest your love, you invest your life.

blessed.