Something to read... And read again.

My daughter asked me why God had made everything in the first place.

Because He loves beauty, He loves to create. He wanted to be able to love us and for us to love Him.


And so it is that love was wrapped up in the first act of creation. The emergence of the first bouncing particles and the new laws that governed them, breathed out into the nothing by a curious He, was a pledge of future love, a promise of fidelity. He made something dependent on Him, and so His character swore Him to love it into eternity. Is procreation not the same?

Man and woman come together in an act that, left to its own devices, brings forth life, a life that both are obligated by the image of God in them to love and nurture. If we choose to create, we are vowing at that moment to love the creation, and it is a vow we must keep. The first choice is not separable from the second.

God knew the yoke of love He was taking on when His finger stirred light into the cosmos, knew of sin and pain and the cross and neglected children and wars and the pieces of us He would have to glue back together, and yet He set the dominos in motion none the less, on down through the eons, till His love could be expressed to us. Let there be light was as good as saying I will love.

All pictures- California Road Trip 2010

God, who has loved us since we were particles in space; God, who gave us His image that we would love our children from the time they were cells in our bodies. We fail on our end of course, but our failure can only let them fall as far God’s own love, and they are cradled just the same. It is a good God who spoke matter into space that He might know and love His children.


Source: http://canvaschild.blogspot.com/. Guest post by David Nilsen

Realizations

I've got to say, it hasn't been the most relaxing July so far. When I got back from Ontario, we launched full swing into trying to find a new place to live. We were considering moving out August 1 depending on what came up. Also, I was feeling very stressed out over work, due to the fact that there hadn't been very many shifts available at all, and all of the casuals were fighting for hours. Sounds a bit vicious, but it's kind of true. And wondering what would be the best thing for me to do for my last few months of working.

But I read something recently that was about just relaxing for a moment and letting God bless you. Taking the time to stop worrying so much and seeing how He is providing all around you, even though it might not always be the way you expect. Trusting that things will fall into place.
And I feel as if that has been very true in the last few days. I've been getting all uptight about everything, worried about how it's going to work out. In the meantime, answers and blessings have been flowing in freely.

We found a new apartment on Saturday. It's a main floor, big front windows great location. I still don't feel 100% about it, but that's my old transition-anxiety kicking in. Brian thinks its perfect for us and we will be very happy there, and I know that he's right. Also, the lease starts September 1, so we don't have to worry about paying for 2 places at once. It also has 3 bedrooms- one for us, one for an office/ guest room, and one for Baby C! I can't wait to start arranging baby stuff in there.

Also, the place doesn't come with a washer and dryer, meaning we would have to go appliance shopping. Not so fun. However, after a little search on Kijiji, we are getting one dropped off here tonight, only a year and half old, and a very good price. It even still has the warranty on it.

Work called this morning with a day shift for tomorrow. That makes number 5 already. And I was worrying about not enough hours..

And my friend Lauren and her husband Colin were blessed with a beautiful baby boy on Friday night. I went to see them on Saturday morning, and there he was, all fresh and new. I'm so happy for them. Part of me is also super excited because it makes things all the more real- that will be us in 5 1/2 months! (approximately), the Lord willing. Amazing!

So all of the above reasons are why I just need to trust and relax and be thankful.

I am also thankful for homemade bread toasted with Niagara peach jam and spiced gouda cheese (not on the same piece!) :)

new beginnings

Well, there is an elephant in the room, folks. I think it's time to talk about it! Here is the little secret we have been hiding for quite a while now...

Baby Claus- his or her first picture!! at 9 1/2 weeks- 2.8 cm long. Pretty cute eh? I suppose i might be a little biased :)

We are going to have a baby!!
Baby Claus is due December 31.

This ultrasound picture is from May 31- 6 weeks ago now! It was so amazing to see that little heart beating back then already. It left me speechless, actually. And a bit teary. That little heart, has already begun to beat- and will keep beating, and beating, and won't stop till God calls this little baby, or teenager, or middle aged person, or grey haired senior, back up to heaven. What a thought.

You created me in my inmost being

you knit me together in my mother's womb

ALL the days ordained for me were written in your book

before ONE of them came to be...

psalm 139

that really hits home these days.

So far, things are going really well. we are very thankful. I had a good first trimester with a lot of nausea but no toilet-bowl hugging, thankfully (except on the plane!). 

so here we are, over a third of the way through. but i want to savour this. 

grow little bean, grow!! 

I didn't think i was one to post pregnancy bump pics. especially not on facebook. but this is a little different. i like to think that this is a bit more personal. This is me at 15 1/2 weeks, aka today. a little thicker than usual, perhaps. enough that other people have noticed. at least. or maybe just wondering in their heads if i was getting a little portly in the stomach... I suck it in in these pictures as much as I can for a more accurate depiction!

also, i can't take a picture with my own face in it in front of the bathoom mirror.. i'm already standing on the bathtub ledge here. but it works for now.

life these days

I know that I haven't posted for ages... the last few weeks included a big trip to Ontario, the wedding of a dear friend, lots of good time with family, and a long absence from my beloved husband! But now I am back in St. John's.. and it's sunny here! I was dreading the potential fog, rain and cold clouds that I thought would be here when I got back, but its been sunny almost every day. Awesome.

Tonight and last night both included freshly baked bread (I'm shamelessly proud of myself) and ripe, juicy succulent mangos. Good produce has made its way up to the Rock, even if it's still a tad pricier than other locales...

Matt and Janine are coming on Saturday- it'll be fun to see my brother and sister-in law.

All my pictures from Ontario are on our other computer, which doesn't have internet, so I'll get them on here soon. This was just a quick note.

More to come!!

June

Well, it's 8 degrees here in St. John's today. And very foggy. I am wearing a fleece sweater and jeans and drinking tea inside.
Meanwhile, the weather forecast for Hamilton, ON, says a high of 29 degrees today.
That is a 20 degree difference.
Mmm, I can't wait to bask in that sticky, sunny, sweaty heat next week.

(It's alright, Newfoundland. I know you are surrounded by the chilly north Atlantic and it's hard to warm up when cold air fronts blow down from the Arctic all the time, as well as icebergs and fog. But I AM looking forward to some warmth!)

May is gone already and June is here... the days go by so fast. Brian has been really busy preparing for some big stuff this month. On Thursday he is leaving for Annapolis, Maryland for a Sailbot (robotic sailboat that they built) competition.... and then he will be back around the 20th only to leave in a couple days to take a boat up to the Labrador coast and survey an ice island up there in collaboration with PAL (Provincial Airlines). It's pretty cool stuff actually. Meanwhile, I will leave on Monday for Ontario.... so I am having my own fun in the form of lots of visiting and Ontario goodness and also Zach and Lisa's wedding- hurray!!! It will be sad to be without my dear husband.... however, we lived a country apart once, so now I think we can do 3 weeks. Though it's different when you're actually married rather than dating... but distance makes the heart grow fonder. And if Brian will be off in the States and Labrador, I can't think of a better place to be than with some of my favourite people in Ontario.

Not much else to say for now...

a real May day

Today I walked home from work and it smelled like green grass and pine trees.
The birds were singing.
We ate raisin bran with the porch door wide open... and morning breeze flooded in.
I slept and then woke up and opened the windows..
Even ripped the winter plastic off one of the front ones-- freedom!
Washed the sheets, hung them out to dry
Cleaned and scrubbed and spring cleaned- hurray!
Lemon juice and olive oil soaking for a fresh salad
Bowl full of ripe tomatoes on the counter
It must be spring

It's a good feeling.

in which I update re: life

It's been over a month! A lot has happened in the last month....

Mom and Dad Claus came to visit. It was nice to show them our little end of the country again... we spent a lot of time chatting about life in general over delicious home-cooked meals. It's neat to hear how things are going for them in Terrace... they have relocated their bakery to this northwestern BC small town and so far things are going really well. That combined with plans for an orchard and a small-scale fruit farm mean that they have taken on a lot of new projects- it's pretty great.

Brian wrote his PhD comprehensive exam. He is now a PhD student, no longer just a PhD candidate. It's a big step in the graduate studies process and now means that he can devote most of him time to research, rather than reading  and studying for hours on end to prepare for such a big exam. I'm proud of him. He's got some exciting projects coming up in the next couple months, including a robotic sailboat competition down in Maryland and an ice island floating down the coast of Labrador that they might get to do some investigations with. He's happy and challenged so that makes me happy.

I also got to see Ashley- she was down here in St. John's for 2 short days prior to a conference up-island. We went on a really wet and windy walk to Cape Spear, went for coffee, played Scrabble, and just caught up on life in general. It was great. Some things never change.

I started doing triage at work. This means that I am stationed at 'the window' and when people walk into the ER, they sit in front of me and tell me what is/ what they perceive is wrong with them. I check their vital signs, maybe check their throat or listen to their chest or look at their cut/ item sticking out their hand (really, this happens a lot! nails, sewing needles, etc), check their "I-think-its-broke" ankle... Then I assign them a triage code. This is a number from 1-5 that determines how long they can wait in the waiting room/ how sick they are. (A 1 means they are pretty much dead. These people usually come in by ambulance). A 5 can wait for 12 hours without any deterioration to their overall health.
It's a very interesting and challenging role. I'm sure there will be many stories to tell...

Brian and I contemplated moving.... looked at a couple places... and decided we are going to stay here for the summer at least. We wouldn't mind a bit of a bigger place that is newer than circa-1903, and not quite as drafty/cold/ hard to heat in the winter. But there isn't much right now and this is a great place for the summer with its porch and big windows and downtown location.

That's life in a nutshell right now. 5 weeks from today I will be back in Grimsby getting ready to celebrate Lisa and Zach's wedding! Really looking forward to it. I love going home. It's always so good to visit everyone and catch up. My dear husband might not be able to come with me due to ice islands and such sort of researchy things, which I am a bit sad about... also, its sad to not have your dear husband with you at other people's weddings... but that's ok. I'll be alright. Mum and I can hang out lots, right Mum ? :)